It’s such a head fuck isn't it?
Though we know we shouldn’t stress, we continue to live in states of overwhelm and anxiety (forms of nervous system dysregulation) not because we’re broken, but because we can’t seem to stop. It’s like we’re pre-conditioned to move from day to day, task to task, demand to demand — from one stressor into the next. We know we’re supposed to take care of ourselves, but knowing and doing are two very different things.
Because society thrives on dysregulation,
regulation *by contrast, can feel like resistance.
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It means slowing down when everything demands urgency.
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It means setting boundaries when burnout is the norm.
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It means claiming calm as a right, not a luxury!
Busy-ness, burnout, over-consumption, productivity, attention disorders, even post-traumatic growth (becoming self-sufficient or self-actualised in the wake of traumatic experiences) have become markers of the high-functioning individual.
We wear stress like a uniform and perform our exhaustion as a way to belong, because the attributes of stress have become cultural markers of success.
“Modern life isn’t set up for nervous system balance.
These signs of success are often symptoms of distress.”
— The Guardian
We no longer live with intention.
We react.
We perform in response to whatever demands our attention.
We work ourselves toward a promised land of calm, frantically searching for regulation from a dysregulated state.
We’re not operating from groundedness.
When regulation is treated as a reward for running ourselves into the ground, how can we make space for calm if it's wrapped up in work?
The contradiction?
We’re running from the very thing we’re working for.
But here’s the truth...
We can’t create, work, connect, or relate fully without regulation at our centre.
“You don’t regulate with logic.
You regulate through the body,
through sensation, safety, and relationship.”
— The Guardian
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU'RE DYSREGULATED.
WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR:
You might be experiencing nervous system dysregulation if you notice:
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Feeling constantly wired or hypervigilant
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Chronic fatigue despite sleeping
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Trouble concentrating or making decisions
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Digestive discomfort, especially during stress
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A sense of emotional shutdown or numbness
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Mood swings or unexplained irritability
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Feeling anxious and exhausted at the same time.